


Boys Don't Cry

by AnotherGallavichLove



Series: Prompts [96]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Getting Back Together, M/M, Post 6x01, Singer!Mickey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 16:59:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6713383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherGallavichLove/pseuds/AnotherGallavichLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on this prompt: Post 6x01, Svetlana and the Milkovich find a lawyer who makes go out of prison Mickey. He sees Ian with the firefighter and with his family, he leaves Chicago. He will come back after 6 year for a concert. Mickey is a famous rockstar. Kev asks him to sing a night in the Alibi and he accepts. When he sings there, there is Ian who is single again. Could you please do that Mickey sings "Say something", "Outlaws of love" and "Another Love"?? <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boys Don't Cry

**Author's Note:**

> Mickey's songs are ['Another Love'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGOr_gEQSCw) and ['Boys Don't Cry'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPid50IAmI8)

Mickey swallowed down the gulp of water as he got ready to get up on the little stage, his band fumbling with their instruments to make sure that everything was good to go. He screwed the top back onto the little plastic bottle, swallowing once more in an attempt to get rid of the lump in his throat; he was rarely this nervous to perform, but in a way he supposed that it made some kind of sense. For the first time in six years he was back in Chicago - back here, in the alibi. Something he had never thought he would do. Sure, he was a completely different person now than he had been when Svetlana and his brothers had first gotten him out of that prison and he had left this town, but in a way he was still Mickey Milkovich. And no matter how much he would like to deny it, what the people here thought of him mattered. At least a couple of them.

 

Kev seemed to be completely cool with Mickey - he was the one who had asked him to perform here, after all. Mickey had ran into Veronica as well, and she seemed to be same old same old. He had only been back here for a few hours, so he hadn’t met anybody else, but now the bar was filled with people - faces he recognized and faces he didn’t. Thankfully, the ones he did recognize he didn’t know all too well despite that fact so it could have been worse. Among the people he had grown up beside, the bar was also littered with hardcore fans that he saw from time to time - he supposed that was one of the perks of being well known in the music business. Gaining a loyal audience.

 

Soon, Mickey’s main guitarist gave him a little nod and Mickey swallowed, stepping up onto the little stage, his right hand curling around the middle part of the microphone that was sitting on the stand. The stage was quite raised, and now he could see over the entire room. He still didn’t see anybody that he knew all that well, save for Kev and Vee who were standing by the bar, and that fact still calmed him down. His lyrics were already so honest that he never really enjoyed singing in front of people who knew him beyond them.

 

“Thanks for coming out tonight” Mickey begun the show, just as he did almost every one. A few claps rang throughout the room, and he lifted his right hand to his head, adjusting the black beanie to make sure that it was sitting right. A light washed grey v-neck was hanging loosely over his upper body, a biker jacket accompanying it. A few years back he had abandoned the loose jeans, and instead his legs were wrapped up in a pair of black skinny jeans, tapering off into a pair of old chucks. His skin was by now littered with a few more tattoos, but he had never gone all too crazy on that front. The septum piercing was resting safely above his upper lip. “So um… this first song…” He said then, looking down at his shoes for a moment before lifting his head again, his eyes traveling over the crowd. “It’s for what’s-his-name. Wherever he is these days”

 

A few chuckles rang throughout the crowd, and it made Mickey’s lips pull upwards a little bit in his own amusement as the band started playing behind him. His hand tightened a little bit around the microphone as he got ready to start singing one of the very first songs he had ever written about Ian Gallagher.

 

_“I want to take you somewhere, so you know I care”_ He breathed into the microphone, the crowd completely silent as the people hung onto every single word, Mickey’s eyes falling closed as he slipped into he zone, line after line escaping his lips. _“But it’s so cold, and I don’t know where. So I pick you daffodils in a pretty string - but they won’t flower like they did last year”_

 

Mickey continued singing, word after word, no thoughts present in his head. He was probably most at peace when he was singing on stage. This song wasn’t one of the most emotional ones in Mickey’s collection - he did have ones that made him cry, which ‘ _Another Love_ ’ didn’t. But that didn’t mean that it didn’t sting a little bit because every single word was directed at Ian. Ian Gallagher. The man that broke Mickey’s heart all of those years ago. The worst part was that Mickey had actually believed that their breakup had been a small fight, something they would have been able to get through, had they only fought enough. Then he had gotten out of that prison and seen him kiss that other guy - the black one, whatever the fuck his name was. And right then and there Mickey had realized that that was it.

 

Six years later, here he was. And though he was still singing the words, he wasn’t hurting anymore. Because through blood, sweat and tears he had finally managed to stop loving Ian Gallagher.

 

At least that’s what he had figured. Because right then and there in the middle of the second verse, right as Mickey sang _“If somebody hurts you, yeah I want to fight. But my hand’s been broken one too many times. So I’ll use my voice, I’ll be so damn rude. Words, they always win - but I know I’ll lose”_ There he was. Walking in through the door as if it was nothing.

 

Mickey continued pushing the words out of his mouth, but he wasn’t thinking about singing right now. Six years had surely changed Ian. He looked older, and wiser. The red hair on top of his head was a little bit shorter than the last time Mickey had seen him, the bottom half of his face covered by a light wash of stubble. His upper body was covered in a light, denim colored button up, and of course Mickey’s throat went dry. He continued singing, though, tearing his eyes away from Ian only a few seconds after he had first seen him. Mickey closed his eyes again, focusing on nothing but singing the song to its end. He didn’t know if Ian was looking at him or not, and he didn’t bother finding out. Instead he buried himself in the words and the music, expressing himself in a way that would never once fail him.

 

_“All my tears have been used up, oh oh…”_ He finished a minute or two later, the music tapering off, emotional tears threatening his eyes as he opened them up again, taking in the crowd, his throat thick. Mickey forced himself to take a deep breath, and then another one.

 

Because without looking for them, his eyes fell onto Ian’s. He was leaning against the bar in the back of the crowd, a small and kind smile stretched out across his lips as he looked at his ex boyfriend. Mickey couldn’t help but feel as if the man looking at him was somebody he hadn’t seen in a long time. It didn’t feel as if this Ian was the one who had broken up with him all those years ago, or cheated on him or mocked him. Understandable - Mickey of course realized. Six years was a long time. But despite the space in between them, Mickey also couldn’t help but see something familiar in the green color. Something kind. That special something that had made him fall in love with Ian Gallagher from the very beginning. Almost as if this man was anything but a stranger.

 

The silent eye contact lasted for a second - maybe two or three. And then Mickey forced himself to clear his throat, realizing that the crowd was waiting for him to introduce his next song.

 

“So um…” Mickey begun, not able to tear his eyes away from Ian just yet. He couldn’t explain it. One look and he was right back where he had started six years ago. “This next song, it’s one of the ones that I was kind of nervous about putting out there… Because it’s so honest…” He continued talking into the microphone, Ian’s kind eyes staying on his own. “But it was important for me to do anyway, you know? So this is for him. He knows who he is”

 

Ian did nothing but tilt his head slightly to the side, blinking once as he waited for Mickey to start singing. The singer’s throat was slightly dry, because as the band started playing, the eye contact between him and his ex boyfriend was still stuck, neither of them making one single move to break it. This song was probably the most honest and bare thing that Mickey had ever written, and singing it in front of Ian had never been his plan. Yet here he was.

 

_“Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah. No.”_ Mickey’s raspy voice joined the music as he did his best to sound as if he wasn’t on the verge of tears already. His hand tightened a little bit around the microphone, blue eyes lost in green as he started singing the lyrics he had once been drunk and brave enough to write down. _“I. Don’t know you anymore; not the man you were before. You really got nothing to say - as I’m walking out the door?”_

 

If there had ever been one single doubt in Ian’s mind that this song would be about him, surely it was gone by now. Six years or not, Mickey still had a ton of shit to express about what they had gone through together, and now he finally had a way to.

 

_“Tell me it’s your pride, that you’re really dying inside. I turn around one last time”_ Ian swallowed visibly as Mickey continued pouring the bloody truth out into the microphone. _“And it’s - like a bullet to my heart. Boy, your silence, it’s so hard. Ain’t even looking like you’re sorry. And it’s tearing me apart”_

 

After six years, Mickey supposed that he shouldn’t be so affected by what he and Ian once had - or even these lyrics for that matter. But he had once been so fucking broken, so lost and it had taken him such a long time to even begin to move on from Ian. So of course, when he finally had the chance to tell Ian how he had felt - it made him just a little bit emotional; enough for his voice to be on the verge of cracking a time or two.

 

_“You know I’m breaking down inside, won’t look me in the eye. With the silence getting louder; I’m searching for a sign…”_ Mickey was quiet for a second or two, going into the chorus. Their eyes were still very much glued together, and he just knew that his ex boyfriend was hanging onto each and every word. _“But I can’t get a reaction, looking for some emotion. You’ve got a blank expression. Tell me there’s something left inside. Wish I could see right through you, let me know you’re hurting too”_ Mickey’s throat was getting tighter and tighter with every word, his eyes stinging a little bit as his hand tightened around the microphone, the black letters on his knuckles standing out against the white, strained flesh. _“But I gotta remember that… boys don’t cry”_ Mickey sang the song title, his voice cracking. _“Boys don’t cry, boys don’t cry” He repeated a few times._

 

The truth was that he wasn’t all that sure what he had meant with those three words. Mickey had had quite a bit of alcohol in his blood, so he couldn’t remember if he had only had Ian in mind, or if he had been trying to tell himself that he was a man and he shouldn’t cry. He supposed that it was quite a bit of both. Those past few months of his and Ian’s relationship, Mickey had cried more than he had in his entire life and though he at that point had fully realized what an asshole Terry was, he had also had his voice in his head, telling him that boys shouldn’t cry. Maybe that’s where the song title came from. Partly, at least.

 

But it wasn’t much use now, because as Mickey went into the second verse, he was forced to clench his eyes shut, willing the tears back.

 

_“You’re a stranger in my house; just a shadow of yourself. How could you be so cold? Wish I could turn you inside out”_ Mickey continued, voice a little bit thicker than it had been a moment ago. He kept his eyes shut, but he knew that Ian’s gaze hadn’t moved off of him. Not for one second. He could feel him. _“Tell me it’s your pride, that you’re really dying inside. I turn around one last time…”_

 

Mickey went in for the chorus once again, praying that he would end up getting through this without having tears rolling down his cheeks.

 

_“Like a bullet to my heart. Boy, your silence, it’s so hard. Ain’t even looking like you’re sorry. And it’s tearing me apart. You know I’m breaking down inside, won’t look me in the eye. With the silence getting louder; I’m searching for a sign…”_ Mickey’s chest moved up and down at a steady pace, his voice continuing to pour into the microphone in his personal state of peace - as much as he could be at peace in the moment at least. He was getting closer and closer to the bridge and it was more than likely that he would end up breaking. Ian’s eyes were still on Mickey - he knew it. Mickey still didn’t have enough strength or courage to open his own, but he knew. _“But I can’t get a reaction, looking for some emotion. You’ve got a blank expression. Tell me there’s something left inside. Wish I could see right through you, let me know you’re hurting too. But I gotta remember that…”_

 

Mickey slowly let his eyes slide open again, surely they were a little bit glossy by now, his entire body screaming at him with the need to shed the tears. Ian swallowed visibly as their eyes connected again, and there it was. One single tear sliding down the pale face in the dimly lit bar. Ian was crying.

 

_“Then you turn around and try to hide the pain of saying goodbye. If you looked at me, then you’d be forced to see that - you have torn my world down, and it’s killing you - now. Tired of hurting all alone; I want to see you…”_ Mickey sang, one tear finally sliding down his own cheek as he continued humming the words into the microphone, feeling as if there was nobody in the room except for the two of them. Ian and Mickey. The way it had been so long ago. _“…cry”_

 

The chorus came back around after that, and Mickey’s hand tightened a little bit more around the microphone in an attempt to calm himself down. His throat was incredibly dry, another tear sliding down Ian’s cheek as he continued singing the emotional words. Mickey had known that this had been a bare song, but he hadn’t realized just how brutally honest until just now. This second and this moment.

 

_“But I gotta remember that - boys don’t cry. Boys don’t cry, boys don’t cry. But I gotta remember that - boys don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Boys don’t cry…”_ Mickey finished, dipping his head and taking a few steps away from the microphone as the band faded the music out, a few more tears trailing down the singer’s cheeks.

 

  
***

 

  
“Hey” Ian was the first one to speak, as soon as the men were close enough to each other to do so. The past half hour had consisted of Mickey singing less emotional songs all the while trying to get himself to stop crying. It felt kind of nice to finally be off of the stage. He took the few remaining steps over to his ex boyfriend, giving him a nod in hello as he sat down by the bar, facing him while forcing himself to have a smile on his lips.

 

“Long time no see, man” Mickey did his best to avoid having to acknowledge their… moment before. Right when Ian had walked in. It had been six fucking years - seeing this guy shouldn’t have any kind of impact on Mickey anymore. That wasn’t normal. Was it?

 

“Yeah” Ian nodded. Mickey signalled for a beer, and then their eyes were on each other’s once again. The air a tiny bit less fake than it had been a second ago, neither of them seeing much of a reason to pretend. They both knew how they felt. How they had been feeling. “I’m sorry” Mickey did nothing but furrow his eyebrows as he adjusted the beanie on top of his head, so Ian elaborated. “It’s… way overdue, I know. But for everything - I’m sorry”

 

Mickey was well into his twenties by now - fuck, he was pushing thirty. That meant that he was a man, and the truth was that he didn’t have the energy to pretend as if he hadn’t been hurt all of those years ago - he had been. It had been the worst time of his life, and though he had gotten him here. To this moment and this dream of a life, he didn’t really see a reason as to why he should wave it all off or pretend otherwise.

 

“Thanks” He just nodded a little bit, wrapping his left hand around the bottle of beer that Kev put in front of him. “That’s… unnecessary, but thanks” Ian swallowed again, taking a sip of his glass of water, the eye contact breaking for a second or two before Mickey spoke again. “So where’s your boyfriend, huh?” Now it was Ian’s turn to frown and Mickey’s turn to elaborate. “The black dude”

 

“Oh” Ian spoke through a chuckle, shaking his head frown side to side as he looked down at glass of water. That smile was on his face - the one that had made Mickey fall in love with him all those years ago. It was still the same. And it still made him all warm inside to see it, because this wasn’t a smile induced by his disorder, this was Ian’s real smile. Maybe the fact that Mickey, still to this day, could easily tell the difference said something about them. “No, Mick. That didn’t um… that ended about as quickly as it started. I was just trying to get you out of my head” He lifted his head again, searching green eyes looking into confused blue.

 

“Yeah?” Was all Mickey could push past his lips at the moment; his throat felt dry. Whether it had been six years or six seconds since he had last seen Ian, he couldn’t tell. Because right here, this close in this dimly lit bar - it felt as if it had been them forever. Ian’s head moved slowly up and down in confirmation, something shifting in between them. Changing to become safer.

 

“Six years and I’m still looking for a way to do that” The taller man added then, in a brave move. “Look. Mickey, I know what I did back then. And I know you have all of this now…” Ian gestured weakly to the stage where the other guys in the band were packing their instruments together and talking to a few fans. Mickey swallowed, waiting to see where exactly Ian was going with this. Their eye contact had broken for a moment, but now their eyes were back on each other’s. “I’m not expecting that we get back together or anything, but would you let me take you out on a date? A real one?”

 

Mickey knew what he should say - if there was anything he had learned from watching his sister running around all of these years, it was that getting back together with an ex was never a good idea. Because no matter what Ian was saying, they both knew that that was where they would end up heading. Unless Mickey were to say no, of course.

 

However, right now the green eyes were filled with nothing but kindness. A kindness that Mickey hadn’t seen since before Ian had first gotten sick. A truthiness and an honesty. Love - no matter how much time they had spent apart. So for once, Mickey swallowed and he listened to nothing but his heart.

 

“Yes”

**Author's Note:**

> I had fun with this. I /might/ continue it as a series at some point.


End file.
